I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
