i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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