I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
