So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize