Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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