I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize