remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
