We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
