what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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