once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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