I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Please, let me fuck your mom
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
