it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
