8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
