I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
