Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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