Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
