having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
