Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
