this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
