But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
