It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
