Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
the raccoons are back...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
