There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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