Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
