You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
