p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
