Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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