The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
