Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
