i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize