She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
