o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
it was like eating out sand paper
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
