yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
