Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
