Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so explain again why im purple
no
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
