I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
