i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
