Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
