so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
