I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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