So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
