Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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