I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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