and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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