it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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