we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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