Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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