No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
