You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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