you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
