We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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