This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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