the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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