The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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