Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
