Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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