Joe is yelling at the trees again.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
