How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize