I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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