you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
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