I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
