Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
