i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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