That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
