In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I can text with my tongue
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
