I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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