I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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