It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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