So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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